just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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