Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
