I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
