i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
