Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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