you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
