This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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