Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
