You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
