What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
