week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize