Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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