Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
