i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize