I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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