your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
