Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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