Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
