dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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