The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i came on her dog
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
