i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
