he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
