Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
