My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
