i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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