I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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