He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
These tits shall not be calmed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
