I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
