Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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