I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
