i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's just like the Real World with babies
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I touched a dick in church today
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
