I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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