Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
