He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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