We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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