My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
