i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize