If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize