her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
