You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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