omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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