So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
another moral hangover. fuck.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize