isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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