he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love having hate sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
