He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
