I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
