Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
