shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
