Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
