I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
