you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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