the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
