If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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