But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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