eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
