hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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