i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
