My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
