fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
