The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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