Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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