Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
