Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
