How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
