woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you had me at cake vodka
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
