I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
