I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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