so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
