he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
