i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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