Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
