u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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