There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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