But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
