I looked at my own cervix.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
