I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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