Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
