Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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