The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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