Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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