I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
